I recently came across the following assignment from my days as an undergrad. Our teacher had asked us to write about something that we knew to be true beyond all doubt. Being in the final semester of my final year at college, I was in a rather reflective mood apparently. It’s strange to see what Asfara of 2007 thought of Asfara of 2004. How would Asfara of 2013 respond to this? She would reiterate the lessons from the past. Be kind to yourself, little one. All is well in the world.
At the end of any journey, one must pause and take account of past events. As such, I have found that the final year of my undergraduate education has been a period of great self-reflection. I find myself reminiscing of old battles, both won and lost. The old battle wounds have healed nicely. Only scar tissue remains, an unpleasant yet comforting reminder of the human spirit’s potential for self-rejuvenation. I was surprised to find that those battles never fought, spinelessly forfeited before fate should have allowed, still left deep-seated scars on my psyche.
An important lesson I shall always carry with me is that conflict is not something to be feared. Crisis is seldom followed by catastrophe and very few are serious enough to be life-threatening. In fact, what rises from the ashes is usually far better than anything we could ever have imagined. That is why, looking back, the battles not fought still haunt me. Once the moment of crisis had passed, I was able to look at these situations with greater clarity and focus. I now see the latent possibilities that these forfeited battles had held. I can only imagine the potential for improvement and self growth that these battles could have triggered and how far my personal evolution could have progressed if I had greater faith in my own ability.
When I think of the person I was four years ago, I must say, I love her deeply. She deserved more from herself and from others. She was more capable than she could ever have imagined. She should have demanded better treatment from herself and from those around her. She did the best she could, and for that, I love her even more.
So finally, after fifteen years of schooling, I have come to the earth-shattering conclusion that, if I am not dead, that means I have survived. Battles fought in the realm of the mind and the heart may have deep emotional and psychological implications, but they do not have the power to destroy me. I will survive them … and that I know for sure.